Saturday, August 23, 2008

Blogger Tag

So it seems like I've been "tagged"...twice. (thanks Julie and Shelly) Now it's not what you may think. I have not been tracked down by a farmer, held on the ground as I kick and scream, and had a giant yellow tag with a number on it punched through my ear....

I've been blogger tagged...twice. That means I have to write 7 things about myself. I suppose since I was tagged twice I should do fourteen. Now I'll admit to you (and maybe we should just count this as factoid numero uno)...when I read in my comments "you've been tagged". I immediately started to hyperventilate. Spots appeared before my eyes, and as I lay crouched in the fetal position...I began to have flashbacks. Imagine a, while slightly "big boned", young impressionable, 197 lb 12 year old girl standing in her parents back yard minding her own buisness while stealthily polishing off 3 twinkies, a box of ho-hos, and a side of beef, when all of a sudden out of the back door flies her, slightly annoying and completely dorky, younger, waif like brother, (let's call him Jeff). Just as our heroine is struggling to get that stupid yellow bendy straw into the tiny aluminium foil covered hole in the top of a Capri Sun juicebox, she's abruptly slapped on the back. She goes flying face first into the ground, twinkie filling squirting everywhere as she lands on the box and through her astonishment she hears "TAG!!!! YOU'RE IT!!!!!" All through my...I mean...HER torturous elementary and middle school years those words would haunt her. Being able to catch any of the people who tagged her was similar to a rhino playing tag with a cheetah. So I developed a defense. Whenever I got tagged...I'd just pretend I never heard them and go on my merry little way. (Somewhat like I did with being blogger tagged). So short story made REALLY long, I suppose it's time to face my fears and be "it" in blogger tag!!

Factoid numero uno: See tragic coming of age story above

Factoid numero two: I'm really horrible at math. I still have to count on my fingers for simple addition problems. Seeing this usually instills great confidence into my patients as I figure out on my fingers if the baby has to eat in 3 hours and it's now 9pm what time will baby need to eat?!

Factoid numero three: I once found a solution for world peace, but then thought of how many people I'd be putting out of a job (media, reporters, suicide bombers) and scrapped the whole thing.

Factoid numero four: I'm strongly pulling to name our baby Sparkle. Regardless of whether it's a boy or girl. Jason is deathly afraid I'm serious.

Factoid numero seven: Again, I'm really bad at counting!

Now you might be wondering who I tagged: no one. For all the fat kids in the world, this is for you. I refuse to subject anyone else to the humiliation of being "IT". I'm just getting to where I don't shake anymore when I see a Tag Heuer watch, or see Tag body spray, or see a sign for a red tag sale. Now please excuse me, I need to go drown my sorrows in a twinkie!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Coming soon....

What a great weekend!! I say this every year, but I can't believe convention has already come and gone. Altamont was this weekend and it was such a needed convention for me. It was so great to see those who we seem to only see once a year and be renewed and encouraged once again. I'm sad that it's already over and now it's back to the daily grind. Quite a few people told me I need to be more diligent in updating my blog. So hang on to your hats, this one is a doosey!!

Although I'm pretty sure most of the northeast knows by now, Jason and I have some very exciting news! The reason I seem to be sprouting a spare tire around my stomach isn't because I have been eating too much pizza lately (well maybe it is partly because of my love of pepperoni and cheese, and steak, and buffalo wings, and Pringles, and twinkies....) but mainly because....We're going to be parents! We are so excited and a little nervous at the same time. I mean, the SPCA makes you fill out a 20 page in depth application along with a home study and background check before you adopt a stray dog, but for some reason, bringing a child into this world comes with no paperwork! I'm due March 2nd and am officially 12 weeks today. Also, without sounding like I'm already bragging, I have to say we may have the most photogenic child in the world. I think this may be the best ultrasound picture I've ever seen. (it was taken at 8 weeks)

(Notice how the ultrasound tech wrote "baby" on the picture. I'm not sure if I should be offended that she thinks we'd be looking at the picture going "What in the world is that thing?!?" or maybe she thought without her standing there pointing out to us the baby we'd become lost when looking at the picture and hand it to people going "I don't know where it is, but she said somewhere on here is a picture of a baby!" )

Anyways, he's facing away from the camera, so you can see his ears, back and little tiny hands and feet. Now before everyone runs out and starts buying blue, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl! I just tend to call every baby a boy. We've decided that we don't want to find out. We want it to be a surprise. (You're welcome Claude!)

Now being the thrifty people that we are we've also sent out notifications to all of the popular gossip magazines such as People and US Weekly. We figure if they'll pay 14 million for pictures of Brad and Angelina's babies, they'll probably be willing to pay at least a dollar fifty for a picture of ours! Let the bidding begin!!

Now against my better judgement, I'm going to put one of those little baby ticker things at the top of my blog. I'm always afraid that some wacko is reading my blog and will be watching the ticker and then right before I'm due they'll grab me and hold me for ransom. So to all you wackos out there (other than the one's I know read this blog and constantly tell me to update... :0) ) Don't try and pull anything because first off, I'm well armed! At all times I have with me a mag light (to beat you with), a pocket knife, an assortment of ninja stars, and numchucks. Secondly, you probably would be lucky if you even got 20 dollars out of Jason! I've had such wicked mood swings lately he'd probably be thankful for the quiet!! In fact, they've been so bad you might even pay Jason to take me back! So don't get any bright ideas.

Until next time!!!